Tweet about power dynamics in a marriage resonates with desi women


Leaving your home and settling into a new home is always one of the most intimidating parts of an Indian marriage. And if getting used to a new set of rules and sharing space with a new family is not stressful enough, there are many who have to deal with a level of control they are unused to. Like having to seek permission to visit your own parents. Now, as a woman shared such fears, thousands of women joined in to start an important conversation about the power dynamics that exist in our society.

It all started when Twitter user Neeru Nagarajan recalled how she always used to get stressed seeking permission over trivial things in her previous marriage. “‘My cousin’s visiting the US, can I go meet her?’ ‘A family member’s getting married, would you come to the wedding?’ Everything involved ego-stroking, begging, pleading,” Nagarajan tweeted.

“Too many Indian men and their families like to make all these tiny things a matter of pride. There’s nothing to be proud of if you’re controlling a person and stressing them out over inconsequential things,” she wrote in a follow-up tweet.

Nagarajan’s post resonated with many desi women online who spoke about similar experiences, a constant reminder that made them feel like an “outsider in their own house”. While few dubbed these as manipulation, others shared how they have regretted their choices later in life “realising all adjustments went in vain”, making them question their own self-worth.

As more and more women joined the conversation, Nagarajan shared how overwhelmed she was with all the messages and said that it breaks her heart that so many women can relate to her. “No one should have to live like this,” she added.

She also highlighted how giving the best that one can is essential for any relationship, for the people we love. However, what hurts is not meeting the other person on the same plane. “I’d give anything just because a loved one wants it. Hurting them hurts me. All we want is for this to be reciprocated,” she added.

As the conversation grew deeper, many hoped that young women reading the tweets could learn from their mistakes and experiences and start their married life on a happy note.





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